this came my way….focused on meeting women…but I liked it anyway…
THE DEFINITION OF COOL
I personally think that being “cool” comes downto:
1) Being independent
2) Being indifferent
3) Being funny
4) Being socially adjusted
Before I get into each of these in detail, Iwant to mention something…
Usually, I tend to stick to techniques to helpyou meet more women, or give you advice to getpast limiting beliefs, etc.
I’ve realized recently that there are a fewBASIC, FUNDAMENTAL things that we, as guys, needto really “get” about interacting with otherpeople before we start trying to learn advancedstuff, like how to approach and meet women. If youdon’t have some of the basic things handled, allthe fancy techniques in the world won’t fix yourproblem.
So stick with me here, this is important.
OK, so let’s talk about the four componentsthat I mentioned above.
BEING INDEPENDENT
Independent is the OPPOSITE of “dependent”.
When you act “dependent”, you lean on others,you look to them for approval, you ask what theythink before you make a decision, you tend to wantto stay physically close to them, and yourfeelings tend to depend on what others feel andthink of you.
When you act INDEPENDENT, you lean back, you dothings because YOU decided you wanted to, youdon’t ask others what they think – instead youdecide yourself, you are fine walking away fromyour friends for awhile when you’re out, and yourfeelings are controlled by what YOU think, notwhat others think.
A “dependent” person will go into a bar withfriends, stick close to them all night, ask whateveryone else is drinking before they order, getupset easily about things that others say, andconstantly be looking for attention and approvalin some way.
An INDEPENDENT person, on the other hand, willgo into a bar with friends and be more likelyto… walk away and look around the place ALONE tosee who’s there – and feel fine about leavingtheir friends for awhile and striking up aconversation with a stranger… They’ll order adrink if they want, or water if they want – andnot care what everyone else is drinking… They’llbe cool and calm no matter what happens – even ifothers are getting upset around them… And, mostimportantly, they aren’t looking to others forattention and approval. They’re doing their ownthing, and enjoying whatever happens.
BEING INDIFFERENT
Most people in this world are ATTACHED to theoutcomes of things. They’re constantly worryingabout what’s going to happen… and talking aboutthe future in a fearful, uncertain way.
This type of person always wants to know whatother people think of them, and they’re worryingabout what they should do so other people willlike them. Unfortunately, this almost ALWAYS comesacross as INSECURITY.
An INDIFFERENT person, on the other hand, justgoes about life and takes things as they come.
The indifferent pperson, on the other hand, justgoes about life and takes things as they come.
The indifferent person is INDIFFERENT to theoutcome of whatever situation they’re in.
If it’s a man, and he’s approaching a woman, hewill be OK with whatever happens. If she’s nice tohim, great. If she’s uptight, no problem. If she’srich, famous, and beautiful… and starts comingon to him, fine. No big deal.
When you are ATTACHED to the outcome of asituation, it makes you act all kinds of freaky.You pause, act nervous, hold back, look forapproval, act insecure… and any of 100 otherunattractive things.
On the other hand, when you’re INDIFFERENT tothe outcome, it makes you MAGNETIC. Especiallywhen it comes to women and dating. Indifference isthe ultimate way to show a LACK of insecurity inlife.
BEING FUNNY
Humor is magic.
It’s a complete mystery why we find things”funny” and why we “laugh”.
Crying because someone died makes some logicalsense. It’s a bad thing, and crying expresses anegative emotion.
But when you see a dog run into a windowbecause he doesn’t see it… and he gets aconfused look on his face, you LAUGH. What’s withthat?
Humor is interesting to me, in that if you’refunny, it makes people FEEL GOOD inside. Theylaugh, and it triggers positive feelings.
If you’re not naturally funny, it’s a greatskill to learn. Read books. Watch live comedy. Dowhatever it takes to learn how to be funny.
Most of the “coolest” guys I know are wickedlyfunny. Some of them are only funny on occasion…but they “get it”… and when they do make a joke,it’s DAMN funny.
BEING SOCIALLY ADJUSTED
I know that this sounds funny, but most of thepeople I know who are “UN-cool” are not veryadjusted socially.
They lack a certain something in the “socialskills” department that makes it OBVIOUS to others(and especially to women) that they don’t know howto relate very well to other people. They justnever learned how to make others feel comfortablearound them.
If you’ve ever known an accountant or computerprogrammer that was brilliantly smart, but totallyboring, you know what I mean.
If people act kind of nervous, strange, anduncomfortable when they’re around you, then youalso know where I’m coming from on this.
I can’t teach you how to make people feelcomfortable around you in two sentences, but ifyou need to learn how to mix with people socially,then start PAYING ATTENTION to what’s going onaround you.
Watch how others dress, carry themselves, walk,and talk. Pay attention to little details… likesaying, “What’s up?” when you meet someone new,instead of “Hello, pleased to meet you” and such.
…now, is this all there is to being “cool”?
Of course not.
But it’s a great start.
If you can first get yourself to the placewhere other people want to be around you justbecause they enjoy your company, you’ll find thattaking things to the next level with women will beabout 10 times easier.
I’ve had this conversation with MANY of theguys I know who are successful with women, andthey all basically say the same thing… you haveto learn how to be “cool” and make others (women) feel comfortable just being in the same room withyou. And if you’re “cool”, this happens almostinstantly. If you’re not “cool”, then you’re goingto have a hard time making ANYONE feel comfortablewith you… never mind having a woman feelATTRACTION for you.
And others may try to copy them and they may even try to “out-market” them to compete — but overtime no amount of marketing or touchy-feely people stuff will outshine a superior technology platform with superior features that spreads by word of mouth.
